One day you’re conquering the world and the next….you’re in bed sipping on an inhaler, on heavy medications and praying for any sign of relief God will grant you. I am on my 3rd week of dealing with a nasty respiratory virus that has tremendously affected my lungs. As a person who has never experienced issues with breathing, it’s been very difficult to say the least.
Having to even limit conversation due to shortness of breath is also isolating, lonely and depressing. Not to mention having to step back from work commitments that make me money and personal obligations that I take seriously which are near to my heart. I know you might be thinking…goodness JESSICA! Is it that, serious??! Well to me, yes! A few weeks of no motion is a major set back….I STAY BUSY! I like being out, talking and helping people….then the snow made it difficult to even get out! WHEW!
So….given that I’d already begun to prioritize tasks, delegate responsibilities to others when needed, like obtaining a house cleaning service, taking more time for myself etc. How in the hell did I get here? I’ll tell you…..HEALTH! Both mental and physical. I sincerely believe that having yourself in as much of a healthy sphere as possible is imperative with fighting off viruses and illness. I don’t think this stint should have lasted this long but my body wasn’t prepared to fight it. I’d joined the gym last year but with a lax attitude. My New Year post last year indicated I would try keto again and it didn’t happen. Let’s unpack!
I live with PCOS, like 1 in 10 other women in America. While the degrees of symptoms vary from person to person, I have severe symptoms. After a lengthy and expensive fertility journey failure, I stumbled across a PCOS youtuber in 2017 who attributed both her healthy pregnancies to the keto diet. I decided, hey I’ll try this while we explore financial options for IVF. Again, I’m always moving and solution based…I do stuff. LOL! Well, she didn’t lie because not only did keto reverse practically all my hormonal issues related to PCOS, but literally melted away excess weight. I lost 30 lbs in the first 2 months, 60 in a total of 8 months and pregnant with DJ. I also, never caught the long colds and ear infections that had plagued me most of my adulthood. I enjoyed reduced hyperpigmentation, energy through the roof and great gut health. I loved the lifestyle and even after DJ was born, went back to it. New motherhood, Covid and quarantine kicked me mentally in the ass and I drifted from it to the comfort of the couch with my baby and cake…LOL! Big mistake. I’m a researcher by nature and know the lifestyle front and back. However, what has been difficult to get me back to it was the motivation.
I grew up with alot of love and my mom always hyped me up. I’ve never felt my weight held me back and while it is definitely more convenient being standard size, I’m not a person who gets wrapped up in the aesthetics of others etc. I do my own thing. I’m not a fat positivity advocate and on the other hand, I don’t judge anyone for wanting to lose weight. I’m a JESSICA fan. However I come, that’s my only concern. I didn’t loose the weight before to get “FINE”, I wanted DJ. That kind of soul, earth shattering want as a motivator is missing this time. Honestly, I think I look good now and that’s not to sound vain but to articulate that I’m comfortable with me. It’s been hard to deny myself things I want to eat when I’m looking cute and celebrating and living my life. LOL! It feels so unfair that because of the way PCOS processes foods in my body that I can’t enjoy things. But that’s the reality. I say all that to say, sometimes you need a motivator to do the things you don’t want to do….but know you need to.
This illness has done that because it’s been scary. I know I have to put the whining aside and do what I need to in order to get my body in the best position I can. So, I’ll be taking steps to do that. I might be successful, I might not. We’ll see what happens.
Have you ever needed a kick in the ass to get something started? Was fear a motivator? Tell me about it in the comments.
In the words of your granny, “Jessica you know what to do.”
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Facts. thanks mama.